New York. New Year. I personally think that this is year of subtle. Especially with the recession people are less apt to be showy about things. No longer will SEAN JOHN be plastered across your shirt (which I hope isn’t the case anyway, but we still love you if it is) and Juicy wont be painted across your backside (again, if it is, we still love you but girl, say good-bye. you’re not in high school anymore.) Retailers are hopefully picking up on the fact that people don’t want to be the ones seen buying the biggest ring or bracelet. I mean even celebrities are only buying their children cashmere blocks rather than 14 karat gold plated rattles. If they are sacrificing for subtlety, then we all should.
Anyway, speaking if celebrities and subtlety there are a couple things that I just don’t understand about NYC… well i take that back, there are several things (like why the crazy 4 nuts cart always smells so good yet the actual product tastes like glazed cardboard nuggets). but the two events specifically that I personally need to have explained to me is first, the way movies are filmed in NYC and New York’s finest light parade that happens regularly.
Now, if you live in NYC you know what I’m talking about, if you don’t, I’m sorry and I suggest that as you read the rest of this blog you should praise your lucky stars that you don’t live in a town that doesn’t make you feel like a 2nd class citizen just by walking by a movie filming and how safe you must feel that your police are actually spread out on the streets instead of creating the spectacle that I’m about to describe.
Have you ever been in a neighborhood of NYC when there are a movie being filmed? If you have lived here longer than 6 months, then the answer is probably yes. do you know what movie it was? I can answer that for you. No, no you can’t. Why is that you ask? Good question. Aside from the fact that there are 100 bazillion silver truck parked within a 7 block radius of one scene serving no real purpose but to call out that some “very important” movie is being filmed “somewhere” with in the block radius, you can never seem to find out what is being filmed. I’ve even seen trucks that put fake names on the dressing rooms. I mean really? The fact is no one in this city cares because we see celebrities all the time ( like, I don’t know, Dennis Quaid for example) but I would prefer if you make it a little less dramatic. maybe just tell everyone that its happening, cause, New Yorkers are so jaded anyway, we would think you were lying.
SO the other thing that I REALLY don’t get is the flashing police parade (wait, that doesn’t sound right.) I’ll describe the scene, about 10-15 cop cars line up, with all lights blazing and drive in a line all around the city. Can someone please explain it to me? From my perspective it seems more theatrical than filming a movie.
What ever happened to subtle? It used to be plain clothes cops. You know the sleeping dog theory. But not anymore, the dog is up and awake and speeding through Manhattan advertising with flashing lights. A part of me wants to walk up to them at some point and ask them if they ever wear shirts that say “I’m undercover”. (subtle joke.) But I mean for crying out loud. Those lights would wake the dead. Now, I am absolutely willing to be told differently if there is any helpful reason for 15 cop cars to joyride around Manhattan but I’m thinking not.
Do I feel safer. Not really. If I were getting mugged on the street, having 15 cop cars whiz past me might help, but only because the offender was temporarily blinded by their mega watt lights. If I were doing something illegal, [which of course, I would never do but hypothetically], I would actually try to find the parade because you know once they go flying past on their escapade, there is probably not a cop around for a couple miles.
Now I’ve seen a couple of these (and as always I’m transfixed on the spinning lights and trying to figure out new ways that they can justify doing it) but I have to say the last time I saw it was the best. The last time the car show went by me about 10 second later I saw one little lonely cop car, light flashing, turning the corner looking for his crew. It was actually pretty cute. Like a lost puppy or something. Like the sheep separated from its flock. A part of me wanted to yell out, “just follow the moving Luxor.” Shouldn’t be to hard to find, just tell them not to go near Times Square. It might get jealous and start to be a not fun place to go…
But then again, Times Square is all about subtly. [subtle sarcasm]
So yesterday I went to a benefit that raised money for orphans in the Sudan. (I’m serious. Jaded New Yorkers can care about orphans in the Sudan as much as they care about other things…we’re not that shallow). Anyway, I was seriously at a benefit that helped orphans in Africa. The organization is called 
r) is cause to regress into the 4 year old stage of “I can wear whatever I want regardless of texture or color”. I am in awe of it. Mostly because I myself fall into this trap. Now take the Hunter wellie or the wellie in general. Some come in normal colors Thank goodness. However there is still the existence of the purple (er.. lavender) flowered boot or the bright pink plaid print. It is as though the rain reveals the Ricky’s shopper in all of us and we are just bursting to walk around in pink shoes made out of rubber.
