Come on, Come all…

The time had come to show the world that you are a true fashionista at heart.  That, and you like good people, free booze and helping a good cause.  Come to the {PRE} event and you’ll be 3 for 3.

Check out the details:

did you see the most adorable picture of the little girl on a pot.(lower left hand corner).  precious.  It was a fantastic evening and shout out to all those involved/helped!! (sorry, that was inadvertent shout out to myself. awkward.  anyway…)

So yes I helped out by “greeting” people.  And it was fun.  Really, there is nothing better than the terrified look that someone has on their face when you say “welcome” to them. (unfortunately that is a NYC tendency.) But I thoroughly enjoyed myself and hopefully was more welcoming than foreboding. However in one case, of one gentleman, I wish I had been foreboding.  In fact I wish I would have been as foreboding  as a guy with a rifle but, alas, it was not to be.  So this gentleman came up to talk to me.  For those who did not get to witness it I will reenact:

Me: “Hi there, welcome to 100cameras.”

Him: [confused look] uh, like, what is this?

Me:  (what I wanted to say: ” definitely not something about children in Africa and photography…that’s why all the pictures with African children are up” but that would have been snarky and I didn’t know he was creepy yet)

What I did say, ” well, it is a benefit to support children in Africa.  The founder went to Africa last year and gave cameras to orphans and taught them to take pictures so we could see the world from their perspective. etc. etc.”

Him: “huh. so I can just look at these pictures and not have to go to Africa. Cause I don’t really want to go to Africa.”

Me: (thinking: wtf? who is this guy?)  “hahahah, well I can promise there is much cleaner in here (no judgment, I was thinking on my feet…) you should go in and check them out” (read: please get a way from me)

Him: “hrumph…” [eyes scanning me] [pause for a half second too long]  ” I like your dress.”

[pause]

“and I like that you are tall.”

[pause]

and I like your skin tone.”

Me:  [Silence.]

Seriously. Then he just walked away to be Creepy McCreeperton with someone else.  I sadly have no witty discourse on it because I didn’t know what to do with that other than avoid him at all possible costs.  In hindsight,  it was pretty hysterical though, because I mean, I have to give him points for originality.  (skin tone, who says that? just as an aside, not a recommended pick up line.)

Anyway, the night continued without a hitch and there was much made for the children and there were no more awkward comments other than being asked if I worked at Samsung and if I knew anything about the ultra slim, mega pixel, eco friendly LED screen TV.  (I didn’t). But I totally would have tried to sell one if I did.

All for the good of the cause.

The topic of entrepreneurship is what has been on my mind lately. (shocking)  And since this blog is morphing into what I am thinking about at the present time (I do hope you picked that up from the title change….’This Is Me’…can’t get much clearer than that) I wanted to share my thoughts on the topic.

So here is what is on my mind.  That and twitter.  Twitter has been on my mind as well, but more because I can’t figure it out.  If you care to see how I make a fool out of myself over the next few weeks of Tweeting (wtf?) follow me @EJVogelzang

Up next.  A New Yorker’s life calling:  Waiting.  Lots and lots of waiting. I’ll probably talk about twitter too at some point.

I don’t know about you but I’m getting a little sick of this rain.  I mean, c’mon haven’t we been punished and teased enough.  Lest we forget the blissful months of Feb and March where it would hit 60 degrees one day and promptly snow the next day continuing that cycle for about 6 weeks.  That was a little messed up but now we are experiencing a truly f-ed up bi-polar mother nature.  Sunday: sunny and freezing ; Monday: Rainy and warm.  Make up your mind already before I throw my Hunter boots along with myself out the window.

Rubber boots.  The universal uniform for NYC women in the rain.   This is one of the things that I have noticed during the rain…there is a uniform for women in rain. It consists in some way shape and form of women in rubber foot wear of some kind and a freakishly high rolled cuff like they just walked out of the freaking South Pacific.  It is truly amazing because this uniform promptly throws out all fashion rules in a second.  Apparently little drops of water (or at least  majority water) is cause to regress into the 4 year old stage of “I can wear whatever I want regardless of texture or color”.  I am in awe of it.  Mostly because I myself fall into this trap.   Now take the Hunter wellie or the wellie in general.  Some come in normal colors  Thank goodness.  However there is still the existence of the purple (er.. lavender) flowered boot or the bright pink plaid print.  It is as though the rain reveals the Ricky’s shopper in all of us and we are just bursting to walk around in pink shoes made out of rubber.

I’ve also noticed that in rain, there are the umbrella people and the non umbrella people.  I personally fall into the non umbrella category.  The non umbrella crew are those in righteous denial about the fact that it is raining and do not desire to buy something that they know they will eventually lose or leave in a cab. They will last until they see the ark  floating by and then and only then will they decide they need to take shelter.  These are great people to have around when you are planning an outdoor event and there is the threaten of weather.  We don’t care. And we usually convince some fence sitters that it isn’t raining that bad either, even as it dribbles down our foreheads. Then there are the umbrella people. These people react to the first drop of rain like they are 1st cousins to the wicked witch of the west and water brings out a nasty genetic flaw.  These people will open an umbrella when walking under air conditioning vents (which I can’t really blame them for because the dribble off of those vents is one of the most disgusting liquids that you can have fall on you in NYC, but that’s another topic… )  These people also usually travel in packs which makes the whole umbrella thing, ridiculously problematic.

Which leads me to the reason I don’t like umbrellas.  1- they don’t do their job well.  They are the equivalent of a Duane Reade middle manager.  I mean, think about it, have you even been in the rain with an umbrella and been fully dry upon reaching your destination?  right.  see? The middle management of the “keeping dry” corporation.  The pancho (which is another blog entirely as well) is really the CEO of of the keeping dry corp. but i digress…

wait, what was I saying? right. umbrellas suck at life. yep, there I said it.  So my rational is why can carry around something all day that doesn’t do its job, smells when it gets wet and  leaks everywhere? if I wanted that I would just have a dog…. or a baby.

The other issue I have with umbrellas is the sharing factor.  I mean, yes, if you are one of those guys that somehow procures and carries around one of those jumbo sized golf umbrellas that basically covers the entire sidewalk then yes, by all means share with me.  But if you have a shitty little vendor bought umbrellaette then thanks but no thanks (by the way, WHERE do those umbrella-ette vendors come from? Are they just waiting around with umbrellas in a cart for the first drop to fall?  The just POOF! out of the sidewalk screaming UM-brellaUM-brellaUM-brella! like they are hawking peanuts at a Mets game)?

Anyway, so why do I not like to have/share umbrellas…

Height differential: try having someone who is 5’4 and someone who is 5’11 carry something above their heads? Funny, its not level? well same goes with an umbrella folks. And usually ends up with someone getting their eye poked out (usually the taller party and at 5’11 that would be me) or you eventually get more wet because you get the run off from some other jackass’ uneven umbrella next to you because you and your sharing friend both have half your body under the so-called water protection device.
Awkward hand holding placement:  Have you even tried to carry on a conversation with someone while your hand/elbow was about eye level with them?  I mean, I think about these things and I have been dangerous close to punching my friends/my mother in the face because of a crowded NYC sidewalk.  I mean, how do you explain that…”uh, i mean, I got pushed and my fist went into your face um and you got wet and uh, crap sorry mom.”

Seriously, its far too much stress for me, I’d rather just show up to your party looking like a drowned rat.  Because, let’s face it,  compared to the chick in pink rubber shoes and the guy with the black eye, I’ll look pretty normal.

1) dislike of a certain New York things (i.e. women walking around with yoga mats)

2) weird encounters on streets or subways

3) parties that you happen to be attending in which a pop icon, a fashion icon, and a former President also happen to be attending.

4) any story involving a didgeridoo

I’m gonna go ahead and let you guess which one we’ll be discussing here today. If you guessed #3 you are good. If you guessed #3 and #4 you are correct.  I will post this warning now that this post may seem a little “outlandish” but I promise 100% (well maybe 99%) is the God’s honest truth.  (I don’t lie about things like didgeridoos.  I have morals.) The other 1% will be me speeding up the events of a 6 hour evening into a blog post.

I attended The Tribeca Ball to benefit the New York Art Academy last night.  It was a phenomenal event, amazing decor, great food, and some pretty great people you may have heard of.  Pardon me while I become a star struck fan for one moment, but there is something pretty surreal about being at a party, talking with friends and then looking up and seeing Justin Timberlake standing next to you.  It is one of those moments where you are not sure what to do but passing out seems like a pretty decent option.  However instead you smoothly sputter out a sentence fragment, (uh, hi) all the while trying to shut up the 13 year old girl voice in your head screaming “OMG THAT IS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!”"OMG THAT IS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!”"OMG THAT IS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!”"OMG THAT IS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!”   [I will spare you the excessive use of ALL CAPS and just tell you that the same thing happened when I saw and talked to Liev Scriber (who is really a very very nice guy) and Kate and Andy Spade.  They are great people.]

So after that JT meltdown moment, the evening continued. Things got back to normal and I was able to contemplate the important stuff.  Like how to pluralize ‘didgeridoo’.  As I was just about to figure it out my friend grabbed my arm.  Now, I was lost in thought so i didn’t think anything of it until I heard “shut up.”  For those that don’t know, in girl land that means one of two things.  1) there is someone wearing something so hideous that no words can express it but yet it needs to be shared or 2) there is something happening that is so ‘from left field’ that there are no adult words to express it so we revert back to ‘13 yr old girl -ese’ (read: shut up! a la Mean Girls style).  I looked up and there was Bill Clinton.  yep.  at that point all I could muster to say about the situation was – “sh*t, that’s Bill Clinton.” (eloquent and insightful, I think.) But yes.  He came for the after party.  How cool is that?

Click here because I still have no words- picture 88 and 91 .

and this one: its about my boy JT.

I know.  seriously.

so, is it didgeridoos or didgeridie?

In other news,- [insert awkward segue here]-  I think I need to work out an inbox system because this “throwing paper on my desk and seeing if it files itself” isn’t really working. MAybe it would help if I had a filing cabinet instead of old wine crates. Maybe.  Geez, I know, it sounds like I’m in the 1900′s -  maybe one of these days I’ll get myself an electric light source too. Then equipped with my filing cabinet, inbox and lamp I’ll be as modern as the NYPD on the Segways.  Except I’ll hopefully be more efficient and less ridiculous looking.

I stopped on the way home to pick them up and basically anything else in the Duane Reade that mentioned vitamin C.  You know, I always wonder what the people behind the counter at bodegas/corner store/Duane Reade’s think when the are checking someone out and there is the random assortment of completely incongruous items.  For example, Ricola, Naked Juice, Toothpaste, Contact Solution, Toilet Bowl Cleaner, left over holiday chocolate, and a box of white office envelopes.  You ever wonder if they try to make up scenarios in which all of those items were incredibly necessary to one project.  I mean, that is what I would do .  If I saw someone check out with ketchup, Tupperware, Coffee mate, deodorant, Advil and a hammer I would have the time of my life.  Think about the next time you’re in a store.  It will make the Food Emporium oh so fun.

So speaking of things that are little (little supermarket amusements, little Swiss people in the Ricola commercial) , I thought I would add a sequel to the Baby Magazine ordeal.  For those of you who need a refresher on what I’m talking about click here: (trust me, the following will make more sense.)

So as you know, in the early stages of  my company, I signed up for “American Baby” Magazine.  Yes yes, we have all agree that, like the jumpsuit that is coming back into fashion, it was a mistake.  I am now realizing how grave a mistake it was because now 70%of my mail is in reference to my “imaginary child that was born in October”.  If anyone is wondering -  he/she would have been 4 months today.  Did I figure that out?  No.  I was told that, by the mailer I received from a formula company.  The same freaking people that told me “Yay strong moms!” is now telling me “You’re at the 4 month milestone”.  Seriously? Seriously.

My questions is why can’t other people that I actually need be THIS attentive say like my landlord, or my dry cleaner, or my the people at Ricola for that matter. I’m obviously enjoying their product.  But no, I’m being marketed to by my friends at the formula plant in Ohio who are speaking to my imaginary child..   Now that is a cometary on our times if I’ve ever heard one. Yay, American advertising.  Oh but it doesn’t stop there.  I have gotten letters about “protecting your baby from Pertussis” (whatever the hell that is), an exclusive offer for Baby Beethoven,  “Hands On!” musical experience (“a  music program designed to educate and entertain children ages 4 months to 5 years. Yay!” ) barf. and last but not least my personal favorite, a personal invitation from The National Opinion Network – Infant Division to be part of a market research group.  All they want is my information.  Hah. Oh the irony. They promise..and I quote ‘ THE NAMES AND DETAILS ABOUT ANY OF OUR MEMBERS WILL NEVER BE TOLD TO ANYONE.” heh.  That’s just funny. (I don’t think they would find the irony as funny if I actually showed up and told them they had extended an “exclusive invitation”  to a twenty-something with NO INFANT. Could be a problem.)

However if there was a market research group for Ricola.  Sign me up. Maybe we would even get some free samples.  Because Lord knows I wouldn’t want to get my imaginary child sick.

Watch this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8lEQCV3Keg&feature=channel

Good morning campers.  It is Monday Jan. 26th,  a balmy 20 degrees in NYC, President O is giving a briefing about the environment (though a couple degree warmer wouldn’t be too bad) and I have labeled Monday as “soul crushing reality day” since then if it goes well, you will be pleasantly surprised.

Monday. [sigh] its Monday.  Though I’m pretty sure that your and my Monday is going to be a easier than our commander and chief  (“Good Morning Mr. President,  how would you like to save the world today.  Everyone is expecting it. Your options are the two wars. How about the tanking economy? or how about trying to reverse centuries of people destroying our world through the industrial revolution? oh and what puppy are you getting?”)   Can the President have the case of the Mondays? That would be one of the best international excuses.  [“I'm sorry Ms. Merkel, The President is having a case of the Mondays.”]

I think Monday’s are really different for everyone.  There are those “morning people” who shoot off emails to you at 7am and expect you to be awake to respond to them..[haha, thats funny] …now I have nothing against these people because they probably hate the fact that they have to watch the sun rise from their cube/desk/work station/whatever but there must be a certain sense of satisfaction on their end knowing that they are getting ahead of the game awhile I’m still in the shower (ok who am I kidding, I’m still asleep).  Really, I’m impressed that they they are able to structure thoughts at that hour.  On occasion I’ve tried to write emails at that time.  Not a good idea.  It always comes out looking like it was proofread by a 4 year old since I forgot to spell check it and then there is the embarrassing follow up email to whomever you were sending to explaining why you happen to be bad at life before the hour of 9am.  Its really more trouble than its worth.  I know that I’m not a morning person. Shoot, I’m not really even a mid morning person. I’m more what you would call a night person.  You can tell if you are this person with the a simple check list.  Please check all that apply:

1) All of your ideas come to you about midnight right as you are about to fall asleep. In the morning you find notes to yourself that don’t make any sense and emails to yourself that are in sentence fragments that seemed GENIUS when you wrote them but in realty are pretty horrible

2) You consider your power hours 9pm to 1am

3) Waking up in the morning has become physically painful

4) You consider hitting the sack at 10pm and “early night”

If you agreed with at least 2 of those, you are officially a part of the “sucks to be you” crowd because as all your friends are diligently working at their jobs, sending eloquent emails and negotiating big deals at 10am , you my friend, are trying to figure out how to work the coffee maker and scouring your friend gchats to see if they have anything funny that can delay you actually working until your brain turns out about noon.  Its a pretty special club. Imagine if you worked on the West Coast.  By the time you were readdy for the day, people were going home.

So with that, its about time I’m off to start working since until I get famous, blogging will not be my source of income.  Hah, well, in fact I’m still working that “source of income” part out. I mean, how’s that for soul crushing reality?

Anyway, speaking if celebrities and subtlety there are a couple things that I just don’t understand about NYC… well i take that back, there are several things (like why the crazy 4 nuts cart always smells so good yet the actual product tastes like glazed cardboard nuggets).  but the two events specifically that I personally need to have explained to me is first, the way movies are filmed in NYC and New York’s finest light parade that happens regularly.

Now, if you live in NYC you know what I’m talking about, if you don’t, I’m sorry and I suggest that as you read the rest of this blog you should praise your lucky stars that you don’t live in a town that doesn’t make you feel like a 2nd class citizen just by walking by a movie filming and how safe you must feel that your police are actually spread out on the streets instead of creating the spectacle that I’m about to describe.

Have you ever been in a neighborhood of NYC when there are a movie being filmed?  If you have lived here longer than 6 months, then the answer is probably yes.  do you know what movie it was?  I can answer that for you.  No, no you can’t.  Why is that you ask?  Good question.  Aside from the fact that there are 100 bazillion silver truck parked within a 7 block radius of one scene serving no real purpose but to call out that some “very important” movie is being filmed “somewhere” with in the block radius, you can never seem to find out what is being filmed.  I’ve even seen trucks that put fake names on the dressing rooms.  I mean really?  The fact is no one in this city cares because we see celebrities all the time ( like, I don’t know, Dennis Quaid for example) but I would prefer if you make it a little less dramatic.  maybe just tell everyone that its happening, cause, New Yorkers are so jaded anyway, we would think you were lying.

SO the other thing that I REALLY don’t get is the flashing police parade (wait, that doesn’t sound right.) I’ll describe the scene, about 10-15 cop cars line up, with all lights blazing and drive in a line all around the city. Can someone please explain it to me?  From my perspective it seems more theatrical than filming a movie.

What ever happened to subtle?  It used to be plain clothes cops. You know the sleeping dog theory.  But not anymore, the dog is up and awake and speeding through Manhattan advertising with flashing lights.  A part of me wants to walk up to them at some point and ask them if they ever wear shirts that say “I’m undercover”. (subtle joke.)  But I mean for crying out loud.  Those lights would wake the dead.  Now, I am absolutely willing to be told differently if there is any helpful reason for 15 cop cars to joyride around Manhattan but I’m thinking not.

Do I feel safer. Not really.  If I were getting mugged on the street, having 15 cop cars whiz past me might help, but only because the offender was temporarily blinded by their mega watt lights.  If I were doing something illegal, [which of course, I would never do but hypothetically], I would actually try to find the parade because you know once they go flying past on their escapade, there is probably not a cop around for a couple miles.

Now I’ve seen a couple of these (and as always I’m transfixed on the spinning lights and trying to figure out new ways that they can justify doing it)  but I have to say the last time I saw it was the best.  The last time the car show went by me about 10 second later I saw one little lonely cop car, light flashing, turning the corner looking for his crew.  It was actually pretty cute.  Like a lost puppy or something.  Like the sheep separated from its flock.  A part of me wanted to yell out, “just follow the moving Luxor.”  Shouldn’t be to hard to find, just tell them not to go near Times Square.  It might get jealous and start to be a not fun place to go…

But then again, Times Square is all about subtly. [subtle sarcasm]

“My Christmas? Well we all took turns being passive aggressive until someone threw out the suggestion that we should make omelets for breakfast. We all the managed to be civil around each other until someone made a comment about the old family cat that was given away because it was terrorizing your little brother. The ill timed comment was something that was meant to be said in jest but it spiraled into how your other sibling really liked that cat and then your parents threw out that you and your siblings were all spoiled brats anyway. Eventually we all ended up on separate computers talking to our friends back home. Christmas was good though, thanks for asking.”

However if that doesn’t seem appealing to you, you can always opt with , “Great.”

Anyway, now that I’m back in NYC I have noticed that that is not the only question I’m getting. I have been asked for directions and landmark locations more than I care to recall. Maybe its a common occurrence, maybe its the influx of tourists (speaking of, have you been to the Apple store recently. you will hear more languages spoken there then at a UN conference), but regardless I have realized that maybe I am just that kind of person people ask. Either I am naturally approachable or I have the sufficiently pissed off look on my face to make people assume that I live here. Either way, even when I have headphones in, people ask me questions (which I don’t get, I obviously can’t hear you).

My most recent endeavor was yesterday. I was just walking along deep in thought about company when all of the sudden was pulled out of my deep thought moment by being asked (well more yelled at): “Where is The Bloomingdales?”

Wait, THE Bloomingdales?

The Chrysler Building, sure. The 6 train, ok. Even The Donald [gag], fine. But The Bloomingdales. That’s a new one. Since this is what I was thinking, it prevented me from actually answering. All I could muster was “59th” and some generous pointing down Lexington. I must say, I am ashamed in myself. Bloomingdales is one of the 4 basic B’s.* I should know better.

Speaking of questions though, I think we all are wondering what 2009 is going to bring. Personally, its been really exciting to see the social innovation sector emerging. There are grants and competitions that all sorts of groups are sponsoring. Not to be all President-elect on you, but the landscape of our marketplace, especially when it comes to retail and philanthropy, is changing and it is about time. I think people are seeing that a lot of our systems haven’t really kept up with the changing world and now amidst the rubble of Wall Street and retail, we are finally going to upgrade the system. And I’m excited. What? Too deep for a fashion blog?
Ok.
Fine.
Two tone dresses are coming back.  To create this look grab a tube dress that you already own (dark color preferable) and wear it over a button down. Pull the tube dress to mid waist to create the two tone effect.

There.

Or if you want to buy one, I’m sure you can find it at The Bloomingdales.

* the four basic B’s are Bloomingdales, Bergdorf, Barneys, and Bendel, in case you were wondering.